Friday, December 10, 2010

Top 5 Funniest Moments in Horror Films

Making my Top 5 Scary Moments list actually freaked me out last night -- I slept with my head under a pillow (to stop trolls from finding me, duh), didn't open any doors (leaving work and getting into my house was an adventure), turned all the lights on, didn't videotape myself sleeping (THAT'S INVITING THE DEMON IN, MICAH!), and didn't visit my creepy sister that we keep in the attic. See? An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Sleeping pills work too, unless your neighborhood child-murderer has recently been offed by an angry mob.

Soooooooo I thought I'd cheer myself up with a Top 5 Funniest Moments in Horror Films.

#5 The Faculty (1998)

The late-90s boom offered up some real horror crap in reaction to Scream's self-referential style. The Faculty just happens to be my favourite. It's all kinds of crazy awful and directed by Robert Rodriguez of all people. I'll save it for another time but Rodriguez is a hack. And it shows in this mess. No one should ever try to get Josh Harnett to act. It's just painful. The best part though is when Hartnett, who's such a rebel in this movie. gets the rag-tag band of students together to do some kind of version of speed to prove they aren't inhabited by aliens. Even if you can get past that logic it is followed by 5 minutes of the worst acting ever from Jordana Brewster, Elijah Wood and Clea DuVall and some other randos trying to portray "high".

#4 Stage Fright (1989)

When a guy in an owl mask is your killer it really doesn't get much better. Until they dance.

#3 Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)
It's pretty common knowledge that the NoES gets increasingly weird and high-concept as the series progesses, though a lot of people have a soft-spot for it. Why not? It's got Patricia Arquette (pre-Medium dumpiness) and Laurence ("Larry") Fishburn in all their 80s glory. But this scene gets me every single time. 
#2 The Wicker Man (2006)
Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

I could go on and on about this movie. It's great. It's terrible. Gary Oldman gives it. Hardcore. He's my favourite vampire hands down. It's unabashedly over the top in the best way. Coppla actually seems to get that these Victorian novels are occasionally great classics but mainly they were hammy and meant for tawdry mass-public consumption. Much like Keanu Reeves.

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